A Happy New Year, and a one month delay (or, The Year of The Pen)
I’ve been following the buzz around Reverb 10 for a wee while. But I didn’t do it this past December, mostly because I was too tired (read: too lazy?) to do it. And then I got to thinking. See, Reverb 10 is all about envisioning. Thinking and reflecting on the past year and envisioning a future for yourself in the ensuing 365 days, yes? So, one could potentially use the first month of the new year as a space in which to envision, n’est-ce pas?
I’m very good at reaching the end of a year and feeling underaccomplished. And because of this, I’m REALLY good at setting a ridiculous amount of goals for myself for the coming year, the result of this inevitably being that the ensuing year ends up a disappointment as well. I think, for 2011, that it’s time for a different approach. I think this year should be about being mindful, and conscious of what’s around me, and about rest and support and love for myself. I think doing Reverb 10 during January will be a good way for me to keep this in mind during the first month of the year, and (let’s hope!) onwards from that.
And so. With my ultimate goal of 2011 as being The Year of the Pen, here are my musings for January 1:
December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)
Oooh. Well, that’s perhaps NOT a great thought on which to start the year. The word I think of when I think of 2010 is disappointing. I think of it as a time when I was really hard on myself, when I worked too much and was too stubborn and too proud and to determined to entertain the idea that I might need (never mind desire) a different future.
But now. Now I’m home, and I’m surrounded by love, and everyone I know is saying the same thing — might just be time for you to take some time for yourself, Amanda. Take a few months, and figure out where you want to be. What you want to do. Spend entire days reading and writing and doing yoga, if you want to. If makes you happy.
I want this year to be about … happiness. Is it such an impossibly big word? Maybe. But like Fitzgerald once said — the mark of a good mind is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in the brain at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. And so — I believe it is possible to be happy and unhappy at the same time. Or, rather, possible to be happy and know that those moments of unhappiness are what make the happiness so special.
So. A happy year. A year about writing. Come make the journey with me?